Friday, March 16, 2012

The twilight…part 1….( Not about the movie of course, )

It was last Friday when I was heading towards home from the city of Ahmedabad. I boarded the bus which was scheduled to leave at 4.30p.m. And hell! I was up for a three hours long journey finding myself in the world’s most-crammed bus ever, placed over one of the least comfortable seats ever. It was 6.15 pm, and I saw the setting sun as the bus coursed on the Bridge of River Mahisagar, the fourth largest river of Gujarat. The beautiful river demarcates the two districts and just as the bus crossed the bridge the first thing that met the eyes were huge areas of mining and factories that churned out little pieces of stones. The dust coming out from the factories and the mines added to the gloominess brought in by the setting sun. The roads were deserted and people were nowhere within sight. Peeping out of the window I could only see loneliness and hollowness, and unfortunately, I loved the feeling it evoked in me. It reminded me of the scene in the film named Border, in the end, where in Akshay Khanna dies and Pooja Bhatt waits for him with longing eyes. I forced myself to think of something that made me feel good about this twilight.


Way back in 90’s, I guess somewhere in 1996, I was 8 years old and my sister was 11. Our house lay close by the river where it took a sudden meandering turn along its path. On the bank opposite to where my home was, there was a small Dargaah. Kehne ke liye it was close, but it was an altogether different place, a world apart. My side was crowded with people and their ill-planned houses, and the other side, also crowded but with trees and trees with birds and their chirpings. One fine Sunday when twilight struck, my dad took me and my sister to that place. I was thrilled to be on my dad’s Bajaj Super Scooter, nestled safely in the leg space provided, right in front of him. It almost felt as if it was I who was riding the bike. It barely took us ten minutes to exit our world and to enter the magical world on the other side. After crossing the bridge, we left the main road and took the small path that was covered with a lot of dirt. The muddy path was adorned on both sides by rows of fragrant Nilgiri trees. The birds were chirping at its peak, but it wasn’t noisy, it was the music of the souls and I can feel it even today. As we reached the Dargaah, we found nobody around but for the Maulvisaab along with a few Peacocks that ran here and there. I had never seen one up close. Dad led me inside the Dargaah. My sister waited outside. The atmosphere inside was suffused with the aroma of rose petals and incense sticks which made the experience divine. Once my Dad and I were outside, the Maulvisaab made gentle hand movements over me and my sister holding a bunch of peacock feathers that were tied together. Dad then took us both to a small path behind the Dargaah that seemed to disappear into the river. As we gently stepped down that path, I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer and I took the plunge. My sister followed. The best time of my life, splashing around carelessly in the waters, dancing away and trying my best to play God – as in, making desperate attempts to walk on water, but all in vain. One of the best things about childhood, of believing one could achieve the impossible.

And then it was time to leave. It was getting darker by the minute and dad thought it best to leave to home. As we walked towards the scooter, I remember looking back one last time, to fill my eyes with the beautiful sight of the Dargaah and everything around it, which made me so happy. I haven’t visited that place ever again in my life after that. The muddy path, the trees, the birds, the Dargaah, the Peacocks, the path to the river, are still locked up in my memory, never to be erased. And these memories come rushing through when I’m bathed in twilight, when I hear the birds chirp, or see a river flow, it gives me the feeling of having magically been transported to that very place yet again, and as if, time has come to a standstill, even years after years..

Thursday, May 5, 2011

What would you do?*

well, this aint by me, and i had shared it many times with many ones. and i guess you are already aware of this. but this is close to my heart, and i just thought of sharing it here.


There was a guy just like us. Young, tall, smart, educated, aspiring to achieve SOMETHING, to be happy in life, to earn money and with someone to love. But, unfortunately, today he lost everything. He lost all the people who once loved him, a job which had once given him a sense of security, and mostly the hope which had given him a reason to live, a reason that had kept him strong, a reason that had kept him going. Alone in his room, leaning against the wall, smoking a lot, he finally decided. He finally decided to DIE.
He thought of many available options to commit suicide and then chose the nearby just a kilometre away railway tracks. He thought going down the running train and ending his painful life. But miraculously before leaving home somehow he wished to give his life a last single and fair chance. So he decided while walking towards the tracks he is going to meet many people, many people will pass by him and if anyone of them would smile at him and if that would make him smile too – he would take that as a hint towards “everything can be alright” he will then not die. He will then give himself another chance, another chance to make things correct and another chance to live again.
Well, forget what happened to him. This isn’t story of him and I too don’t know what happened to him? Is he alive or not? I don’t have any idea. I just want to ask YOU a simple question.
If that guy came across your way what would you do???

* this article is taken from the book "Adadhi Sadi ni Vanchanyatra" (half century's reading)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"Dreams" On Wings.

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Almost a year before a thought of writing something came to mind. A not at all connected friend named as Yadhu Krishna had influenced me about penning down my thoughts. So after a year, here I am.
Like thousands of people, I’ve started writing with not just some thoughts but something that is deep inside me, a piece of me, my dreams, my love and my hatred, my gains and my loses, my smiles and tears, me myself. I m thinking of calling this process as “making myself as I am (supposed to be)
Every day, as I kiss my loved one goodnight, he asks me what I’d do before going to bed and the first thought that would always haunt me was “I will write something”. J
But whenever I tried to do that I couldn’t. Every time I felt “naah, something is missing”. And deleted many files many times. I was not like this before, I am changed.*
I was thinking what could possibly be the reason behind this change?? My busy academic life? Knowing my capabilities (that they are much more than I always thought)? A long lasting family issue that was finally sorted, which gave me so much relief? Actually the answer is the one person, almost two years ago I met this person, a guy who was on a jolly rideJ, and then we became friends, best friends, and now we are synonyms of each other. Kuch bhi naam do. Thoda sa alag sa, very well organised, knows what to do and what not to do? He knows how to live life. Sometimes I think what my life could have been without him? Could my birthday be so beautiful, so colorful without his drawings? My mornings would have indeed been so lonely without his texts. I share my life with him, he owns my life. It’s his. I love him.
I am changed; I now see a glass half full as just that, rather than half empty. Thanks to him.
*no conditions apply.